(((((: ah! one more day. and YEAHH!
but somehow i miss fiza and yani, scotts and paragon Blush!. )x

so unhappy working this few days. )x no joy no fun. and i fuckng hell hate stock-taking. it almost got me killed larr. )x worked in OUB ctr. HAHS, i tell you, office ppl are bloody freakin fussy. its like they think that they spend a lil more and they are like so, GREAT. oh fuck, sometimes i just feel like throwing back their stinking money at them, and not make any sales.

hmm hmm, mayb i shall date aisyah go spa on fri. since i'll be so free. (:

AH! im so bloody hell irritated la. mayb wat others said was right. our friendships are just weird. weak, vulnerable, and it cant withstand any blow. i have no idea why we ended up together in the 1st place. we are all so different.

tell me, is it that you want it to be over? dont waste my time anymore.afterall, i'll have to wash my hands off you one day.. why not do it fast?

i dont think i mean anything to you, anymore.

it all seems so real, so true.
that msg, how sweet. wat a chance to tell you everything.
but after all, the alarm clock rang, and i realised that it was a dream.
it really seems so, real.

you attitude irritates me the most.

hahs, just like wat we've expected. DAMN. )x
nahh, but its okay, aisyah and i get to go for free spa and massage. (: HAHS, nice.

worked at CK tangs the past few days. some ppl screwed my day, but on the other hand, some ppl brightened it. (: auntie rena bought me banana pie and others treated me chocs and candies. and they comfort, seriously i felt much better. (: ah, conclusion, judith is a fcukin bitch.

also not forgettin, EYECANDY TALKED TO ME! ((((: oh my, nth is sweeter than him. CUTIE! (x

today might be my last chance working with Yani.. pretty sad ehh. )x she's fun and nice. we bitch-ed alot bout our manager today. LOL. xD hahas. i'll nvr forget how much she taught me. from nothing to everything. thanks Yani! (x

sometimes in life, we just have to close one eye. and you'll feel better. life will be easier for both. (:

all you know is how to piss me off.

in the process of making.... (((:


taaddaaa~! the MASTER PIECE! (((x


my small lil dedication. hahas. :D


PEIYING! (: your star will always shine on my bedside. LOL. (: MISSYA!

when someone lost her everything, cant you just be kind enough to at least give her the allowance to fantasize. i dont think there's a need for things to be as clear as crystal. everybody know, everyone can see.

peiying flew off to perth last night.. )x
i'll miss her. its rather sad eh, oh well, i cried as usual. and it was a pity that py cant bring our effort over with her. )x nah, its okay. its the tot that counts right? (:

met up with enoch and got my very very belated xmas present. (: hahas, lunch-ed and went off to meet my cousin. shopped, dine and home. well, duno why its just so tiring.. ):

i think i did something real wrong ytd. oh damn it. x(

talked a lil to col last night. i realised im damn wrong.
sometimes i know i can very unreasonable and wilful. wanting you and everyone to please me in every way that pleases me. you can just walk out on me and wash your hands off me and my nonsense but you always did not, you tolerated my crap and i didnt realise my faults.. i always didnt understand you and that leads you to keeping things from me in order to let me not think that much, but i always took it as you lied to me on purpose. you kept quiet when i scolded you so that we dot have to quarrel, but i always think that it was because you didnt care. sorry bestie. ):

hahs, crap.
all you care is your msn, your friends and msg --.

one word: childish.

you dont appreciated other's effort. you let it go down the drain.
you pissed me off.

some things are not that easy to let go, even how hard you've tried, you might still not be able to let it go. cause afterall they must be some things that impact your life greatly, some memories that's engraved in your heart. some one/thing that might have changed you completely, and walk out of your old unwanted-self. not only that, the times you've spent together, the countless secrets that you've shared, long talk over the phone, be sure that you'll be there for each other when one needs a shoulder to cry on.. the love, trust and care, so many, so much things that we've been thru together. i wont be like, *snap* and everything will be forgotten. mayb it wont be as hard as to forget a relationship, but im sure it aint no easier. just like out of a sudden, you've lost a pillar of strength, a soul to confide to, a shoulder to cry on. practically everything that you need the most at that point of time. even if it'll be forgotten after long, but deep down, you'll know, you cant find something/one as good as the one that you've lost. cause the best memories will nvr be replaced. something that'll be engraved in your heart forever.

forgetting, sounds easy. but it aint easy at all.

i'll understand, i'll try to. (:

smiles and laughter. no more.
tears and heartache. welcome.

fuck you. im damn pissed. this time you really piss me off. can you fucking hell tell me wat on earth is happening? i dont understand your attitude, your words and your everything anymore.

you have nvr fufilled all you promises. you've nvr done wat you said you'll do. i'll nvr believe you again. i'll forget everything for now. you owe me nothing, no more promises.

AH! EYECANDY TALKED TO AISYAH! AHHH! ): lols. nvmmm. i've got new one. (: xsquare.

i almost fell off a HIGH chair today. lols. lucky i balanced. otherwise, hahas. i duno wat will happen.

you taught me how to smile, yet you left me alone to cry.
the happiest day in my life, now its gone forever.
did it end? im not sure either. can you answer?
i'm not thinking too much, but i think you're avoiding.

oh sad to say, mayb i have no more bestie.

sometimes, its to best to not care too much. cause you'll nvr know, those ppl might not even care whether you care anot. hahs. best to treat it as you are blind. better still, deaf and blind.

uh huh. (: i love working with fiza, but for the next few weeks, i wont be seeing her. ): im so sad. no one for me to call a little girl anymore.): BLAH. hope that lil girl get me some goodies from thai.(:

some things, you think that you understand so much, but in fact you knew nothing at all. mayb you say that you know it, but knowing without understanding is just bullshit-ing after all. some things you'll nvr until it really happens to you.. big words, rhyming phrases make you some nice when you try to explain how some one feels. but when its time to explain to others how you feel, you cant even speak a single word, you might think its not true, but wait till it happens on you. you'll cry.

finally, solved. (:

i guess even you've given up. beginning to let go.
gimme a few days, i'll fake that smile. i know i can.
i wont let it slip away, neither will i let you give it up.
just a few days will do, and you'll see that big grin again.

all i can say is that i have nothing now.

no fun, no joy, no smiles, no laughter.
no one to talk to when im down.
i duno who to tell.

where'd they go? i have no idea.
my close frens? non.
bestie? gone.

say its all my fault. i dont care anymore. (:

say goodbye. (: no more hellos.

went out with girlfriends today. walked, eat and chat.(:
more or less the same. i guess some whisperings cant be spared.(:
thanks py for the lovely star, and huat for that cute windmill. love it! (x

i have no idea what makes her think that way. maybe in this friendship it just lacked something, faith and trust. i swear that i trusted her and once made her my best friend, but it was the lack of faith that our friendship ended this way. never was it a substitute, never was it making use. we have never suceeded in sorting things out, but i duno why. it just seems like we are loggerheads? hahs. i duno whether she'll believe wat im writing but its all the truth.

P/S. if you are reading this, im telling you that you are one of my best friend that i cant lose, and also one that i'll always choose to confide to. (: trust me one more time, my friend.

maybe im just too paranoid the past few days? hahs, friends dont have to communicate everyday to keep their friendship going eh? lols. i duno wat im talkin about also, just that, i hope it'll remain this way..

like i knew anything.

UNFAIR! ): eyecandy talked to aisyah. UNFAIR! ): lols.

long long long journey to TM todayy.. ): hahs, but i finally figured out how to go TP with one straight bus! (: clever girl. hmm. but than, i was late. for the first time. hahas. nth fun at work. im damn jealous! ah!

hahas, i just realised that i can get 15-20% off at B.U.M(: staff discount. lols. but must get the full-timers to help. not bad not bad. next time i know who to go shopping with alr. hahas

oh ya, DEWI MSGED ME TODAY! YIPEEEE! (:

off tml. )x


crybaby is soo interestin lols. (:

cry: todae i saw de gal again, then kanna dian by her.
me: hahas.(x
cry: 480volts sia.
me: you haven die ar?
cry: haven la, luckily i can take it.
cry: i gt install earth wire in my body.
me: -.-ll

hahas, mayb meeting melvin tml to get my cookies! (: yummy! (:

i managed ytd. i'll perservere today also.

ah, ah! aisyah and me shares the same eyecandy. (x hahas. but she gets to see him MORE often(almost everyday), but i dont.): nvm, i shall wait, 31st jan. oh my, long way to go..... )x

had a talk with Yani today.. hmm, im thinkin of going Shatec. but than the fees, i doubt my parents can managed laa. a loan? hahs, i duno larrr. mayb i'll still stick to interior design. yupp.

there's nothing more i can say. no point.

what hurts the most, is being so close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away.

ahhhhhhh. FCUK. im going crazy alright. so just, leave me alone.

went kbox with vonne today. hahs, didnt get very high, but i got high, by myself! hahas, and i found out that i got a fetish for small and short guys, oh no.=x LOL. ah, cutie cutie. (:

and, FINALLY, huat's back~! lalas. (: hahas.

can this friendship withstand the coldness of this few days? i have no idea. friend, do you have any idea? all i know is im getting tired.

oh damn. its fcuking hell irritating me can. damn it. bitch and bastard.

for some reasons, im just freakin tired today. and i kept eating and eating the tibits in the store. hahas. (x playedd tamacochi(watever its spelt.) with fiza. hahas. childishh la.
BUTT, i dont like to be called a little girl. ): I'M SIXTEEN ALR! lol.

the more i think, the more fed-up i'll get.

'..... dont need to ALWAYS meet up, ...... dont need to ALWAYS go out together.'

the funny part is, do i even get to meet or go out with you? lols.

P/S. gimme a call if you wanna end.

(: ive finally found the courage to msg HIM! hahs. (x

went back to school early in the mornin. we thot we just need to HELP OUT. but end up, DOING EVERYTHING. ooooh damn. all i can say is, great disappointment. and of cause, fucking hell pissed. of cause not bcus of my guides, but due to some ppl yaya ppl, who thinks they are very big fuck. oh sucks, damn you.

i dont know what's up with adult's mind. they only think of their own benefits and dont care bout other's feelings. someone almost screwed up our friendship. ass.

you always dont mean what you say. right? mayb i shall call it a white lie, but its always fucking hurting. cause your actions always dont tally with your words. it brings disappointment, after disappointment. and its tiring. lies, confusion, disappointment..... it has been like that for quite sometime. i duno whether isit that we are too close, that sometimes we think that its not necessary to explain or bother too much, and the other party still understands. but than sometimes, it really makes me so afraid. it seems like, we are strangers. and we duno anything about each other but in fact, we knew each other, almost thoroughly. it really freaks me out. i duno how to explain but maybe this is just part and parcel of friendships.

so, that was how you looked at me. now i know. im useless. better off dead.

have you even cared bout how i feel? no. every since school ended. hahas.

damn. i guess i've wasted my off day. im supposed to off today. but i changed it to tml. i doubt i'll have anything to do tml. hahas, have fun eh ali. (: oh fuck.

i told you its the same. and it'll still be the same. wats the use of trying and trying when no one even gave a fuckin damn? hahas.

hahs, you raised your voice at me cause of her. nice ar boy.

(: let it be over.

due to some reasons, i wont be quittin that soon ): im sooooo disappointed. ): blah.
and, damn it! seems like everybody's off tml. shit. ): aisyah, auntie jockey, mama ros. oh damn. even wawa. no one acc me go home. argh!

trust me, it'll never be the same again. tml, lets try. it'll still be the same reason, same ans. will you even bother? i doubt.

i dont think you want me anymore. do you?

HAPPY NEW YEARR! (: goodbye 2006 ):

what more can i expect? hahas.

went dinner 2 days ago. hahas, than i found out that actually my cousin started collecting caps after that incident. lols. (: its soooo interesting. hahas. i LOVEE his collection!

hmm, went out with my cousins last night. (: hahas. shopping and visited wawa at work. LOL, his taste is really really detoriating larrr. lols. my cousin say he's cute. but, BULLSHIT. hahas.(x

than, COUNTDOWNN! hahs. okay la. not that exciting la. my cousin brought me to a pub drank a lil, na dplayed cards.. its so, -.-. hahas. but than, but than, it was a fruitful trip. my cousin's fren is so blardy cute can. my new fren?, Junheng. (: hahas.

hahas, soooon, i'll be getting another job. wish me good luck ppl! (:

we are only workin and the distance is alr like, miles away. i cant imagine if we go to poly. hahas. shall drop it i guess. (: